Personality Progress

Using your MBTI to enrich your life and relationships.

An ENFP from the eyes of an INFJ

            Some connections are hard to define, well really all connections are hard to define. What is it about someone that makes it easier or more attractive to get close to them? As an INFJ I have a hard time liking people and so I spend a lot of time thinking about those that I like, trying to figure out why. ENFPs function, as a whole, in a similar way as the INFJ – together they are two halves of the same apple. I say apple specifically because apples are not symmetrical really, not when seen from outside. If you cut an apple down the center though, each half will look the same at the core.

The ENFP has drive you cannot imagine. They are ambitious. Their greatest desire is to inspire and you can define them entirely with that. To inspire would indicate another person’s involvement – their dreams are not complete, are not their own – they need another person. Alone, the ENFP falls flat. With an audience they can dream up the impossible, motivate action, invoke change, support any truth and rise to their greatest potential. Without the support of another though, the ENFP lets the darkness of self-doubt pull them deep into their Introverted Feeling, which is not their dominant function and is most likely under developed. There they will sit and fester in emotion they aren’t equipped to express.

Their dominant function is Extroverted Intuition. They are happiest in social environments where they can take in new information, learn about new people, enjoy the love and support of many and not have to worry about any of the internal mess they can’t sort through. Because of their hidden insecurities and their love for attention they can come off as overly cocky or arrogant. I picture it as a dog who has been starved all its life finally having more food than it knows what to do with, naturally it will over indulge from time to time. On the other side of this, they are open to all sorts of situations, adapt quickly and genuinely love all kinds of people. They will enjoy an interaction with anyone, no matter their personal opinion of that person and can have a good time no matter what – so long as no strong emotions bump them into Introverted Feeling, because once that happens there is no getting your happy ENFP back to the party.

Finally, what I think defines the ENFP the most, or at least what sets it apart from the INFJ most strongly, is their Perceiving function. A blessing and a curse, the perceiving function dictates how the ENFP processes information – what they do with everything they get while in Extroverted Intuition. We know they will go into Introverted Feeling if they are emotionally effected by something but how do they process all the other information? Well, they don’t. As an INFJ, I judge things.  I use my Intuition to gather information, my Feeling to guide me and then I judge. After I have made my judgment on any particular topic, person, or object – I get rid of all the “wrong” or “unimportant” information. The same goes from right and wrong. When I decide something is wrong, it is always wrong. The ENFP leaves things open. They continue taking in information long after the INFJ has passed judgment. They take in more and more information and don’t like to pass judgment until they absolutely have to – and even then they will easily change their mind. They have so much information that they can see both sides of the argument. So they might think smoking pot is bad when you point out the social stigma but they can also see it as good when you talk about the health benefits. They might believe that abortion is wrong when you point out that it is taking a life but will support it when you point out the health risks of some pregnancies or the quality of life that child would have being born into a life where they aren’t wanted or the mother isn’t financially prepared.

It wasn’t until I understood the difference between Perceiving and Judging that I accepted this part of the ENFP. I “judged” this as the ENFP being fake and having a different opinion to please whomever they were speaking to. It irritated me more than anything. Being real, truthful and self-aware is so important to the INFJ and I couldn’t see how the ENFP could possibly be upholding those morals and changing their minds about everything all the time. The ENFP on the other hand doesn’t understand why the INFJ makes judgments so quickly and will never change their mind – they see us as arrogant and desiring to always be right. It is just the difference between judging and perceiving. A perceiver is more open to taking in new ideas and seeing everyone’s point of view as a possibility but it can leave them undecided and I personally have seen the ENFP go in circles when they can’t decide what they want. `’

 

10 comments for “An ENFP from the eyes of an INFJ

  1. September 5, 2013 at 11:21 pm

    I’m an INFJ and my best friend is and ENFP too. He’s not arrogant because he works on being humble, but the Perceiving part is totally true.I love Myers Briggs. I think it’s so fascinating, especially when you start seeing how letters interact within each type and with other combinations.

  2. INFJ
    September 6, 2013 at 11:28 pm

    The ENFP I was reffering to isn’t often arrogant but I am rather sensitive when his arrogance does show. It is usually when a topic he is paticularly passionate about is being discussed or threatened in some way.

  3. John
    September 7, 2013 at 5:51 pm

    What on earth… you’re a psychic.

  4. J Schro
    September 9, 2013 at 8:18 am

    As an ENFP, this analysis is very far off

    • ENFP
      September 9, 2013 at 8:41 am

      Very interesting. Could you give a brief description of yourself and how you believe this to be “very far off”??

  5. J Schro
    September 9, 2013 at 9:26 am

    Well, let me re-phrase. Your analysis of the their extroverted intuition is more or less correct. But you dismiss the importance of the introverted feeling to the being of an ENFP. The process of deciphering the way in which they feel and the information they gathered is essential to their ability to “adapt quickly and genuinely love all types of people.” They gain the understanding of others by first and foremost understanding themselves and then applying what they learned to those around them.

    You contradict yourself here:

    “After I have made my judgment on any particular topic, person, or object – I get rid of all the “wrong” or “unimportant” information. The same goes from right and wrong. When I decide something is wrong, it is always wrong. The ENFP leaves things open”

    And then proceed to say:

    “It wasn’t until I understood the difference between Perceiving and Judging that I accepted this part of the ENFP. I “judged” this as the ENFP being fake and having a different opinion to please whomever they were speaking to. It irritated me more than anything. Being real, truthful and self-aware is so important to the INFJ and I couldn’t see how the ENFP could possibly be upholding those morals and changing their minds about everything all the time.”

    It seems as if you benefited from taking in new information here, and that you changed your mind once that information was presented. We are both NF’s and we are alike in many ways. Being real, truthful and self-aware, as you phrase it, is vitally important to the ENFP, and I am not sure if you are aware of that or not based on your argument but just because we constantly take in information and change our mind, does not mean that we do not adhere to those values.

    How do you determine if information is wrong or unimportant? Inst the best decision the most informed decision?

    While nothing is completely permanent for ENFPs because we constantly believe in growth of the person, I have noticed that ENFPs values and ways of living become more concrete as they age simply because we have more information to process.

    I believe it was Charles Darwin that said: “It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one that is the most adaptable to change.”

    But maybe I am all wrong, I am just an ENFP you know, and of course am open to hearing a rebuttal.

    Just some things to think about ;)

    • J Schro
      September 9, 2013 at 9:34 am

      I was actually a little off base when I say this:

      They gain the understanding of others by first and foremost understanding themselves and then applying what they learned to those around them.

      –> It is more circular / external first than that and along the lines of: They use the information they gather to understand themselves and process it internally and then apply what they learned to those around them. Its an ongoing process and we learn for gathering information and then processing it but regardless, the understanding of ourself is vital to our understanding of others

      • J Schro
        September 9, 2013 at 9:36 am

        If there are any other holes that I missed in my argument please point them out and I will try to explain / refine if I can

    • Stonaar
      September 9, 2013 at 3:15 pm

      I can understand what the infj is saying about the perceiving/juding part. I can describe it from an ENFP perspective. I have two close friends who are judgers (INTJ/ENTJ) and their judging could drive me nuts. Especially on abstract, ‘bigger’ things like politics or things in the future. They stand at their ‘black and white’, bit pessimistic position and have difficulties swallowing my optimistic arguments / gut feeling. And they accuse me of often changing my mind on things.

      Discovering mbti was a major relieve. Now I tell myself dude, it’s okay, they just think different, laugh about it and move to the next topic.

    • INTP
      September 17, 2013 at 9:53 pm

      As an INTP, I agree 100%. It’s just instinctual endless data collection with the hopes of deriving the most appropriate/accurate representation of the truth for any given situation, and ‘deciding’ on it arbitrarily without receiving/considering all the information just feels terribly wrong/inaccurate. As such, I’ve always found J-type personalities annoyingly cocky/arrogant for that reason (just like the article here describes we would), and I still have a hard time having deep conversations with such types because of it. But understanding the thought process through MBTI has definitely helped a bit.

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