Some connections are hard to define, well really all connections are hard to define. What is it about someone that makes it easier or more attractive to get close to them? As an INFJ I have a hard time liking people and so I spend a lot of time thinking about those that I like, trying to figure out why. ENFPs function, as a whole, in a similar way as the INFJ – together they are two halves of the same apple. I say apple specifically because apples are not symmetrical really, not when seen from outside. If you cut an apple down the center though, each half will look the same at the core.
The ENFP has drive you cannot imagine. They are ambitious. Their greatest desire is to inspire and you can define them entirely with that. To inspire would indicate another person’s involvement – their dreams are not complete, are not their own – they need another person. Alone, the ENFP falls flat. With an audience they can dream up the impossible, motivate action, invoke change, support any truth and rise to their greatest potential. Without the support of another though, the ENFP lets the darkness of self-doubt pull them deep into their Introverted Feeling, which is not their dominant function and is most likely under developed. There they will sit and fester in emotion they aren’t equipped to express.
Their dominant function is Extroverted Intuition. They are happiest in social environments where they can take in new information, learn about new people, enjoy the love and support of many and not have to worry about any of the internal mess they can’t sort through. Because of their hidden insecurities and their love for attention they can come off as overly cocky or arrogant. I picture it as a dog who has been starved all its life finally having more food than it knows what to do with, naturally it will over indulge from time to time. On the other side of this, they are open to all sorts of situations, adapt quickly and genuinely love all kinds of people. They will enjoy an interaction with anyone, no matter their personal opinion of that person and can have a good time no matter what – so long as no strong emotions bump them into Introverted Feeling, because once that happens there is no getting your happy ENFP back to the party.
Finally, what I think defines the ENFP the most, or at least what sets it apart from the INFJ most strongly, is their Perceiving function. A blessing and a curse, the perceiving function dictates how the ENFP processes information – what they do with everything they get while in Extroverted Intuition. We know they will go into Introverted Feeling if they are emotionally effected by something but how do they process all the other information? Well, they don’t. As an INFJ, I judge things. I use my Intuition to gather information, my Feeling to guide me and then I judge. After I have made my judgment on any particular topic, person, or object – I get rid of all the “wrong” or “unimportant” information. The same goes from right and wrong. When I decide something is wrong, it is always wrong. The ENFP leaves things open. They continue taking in information long after the INFJ has passed judgment. They take in more and more information and don’t like to pass judgment until they absolutely have to – and even then they will easily change their mind. They have so much information that they can see both sides of the argument. So they might think smoking pot is bad when you point out the social stigma but they can also see it as good when you talk about the health benefits. They might believe that abortion is wrong when you point out that it is taking a life but will support it when you point out the health risks of some pregnancies or the quality of life that child would have being born into a life where they aren’t wanted or the mother isn’t financially prepared.
It wasn’t until I understood the difference between Perceiving and Judging that I accepted this part of the ENFP. I “judged” this as the ENFP being fake and having a different opinion to please whomever they were speaking to. It irritated me more than anything. Being real, truthful and self-aware is so important to the INFJ and I couldn’t see how the ENFP could possibly be upholding those morals and changing their minds about everything all the time. The ENFP on the other hand doesn’t understand why the INFJ makes judgments so quickly and will never change their mind – they see us as arrogant and desiring to always be right. It is just the difference between judging and perceiving. A perceiver is more open to taking in new ideas and seeing everyone’s point of view as a possibility but it can leave them undecided and I personally have seen the ENFP go in circles when they can’t decide what they want. `’